I need to be studying for my exams right now. I have two tomorrow. One in Algebra and one in Developmental Psychology. Obviously, I'm not studying. I haven't even started to study yet today. I really need to start soon but just can't seem to get motivated.

I'm feeling a bit off again today. I feel like there are a bunch of things that I want to write about but I can't even compose a simple sentence. Parenting, un-parenting, birth, my mom, Lamaze, school...

I need to go study now. Really, I am going to go study right now.

I wish the sun would come out and the weather would warm up, that always seems to help...

In the shower...

I had an "Ah-ha!" moment. This is a crazy idea but to me, and I'm pretty crazy, it makes a whole lot of sense!

My idea. Get rid of the "R" and "D" after politician's names. And for that matter, get rid of the "I" as well. Instead, their names should read "Patrick Leahy, American-VT" or "Orrin Hatch, American-Utah". Because these people, above all else, are American. They were elected to represent the people of the United States of America. It doesn't matter if they are Democrat or Republican because they represent all people in their state...both Democrats and Republicans.

If we did this, maybe people would start to vote for the person with whom they agree with the most on a majority of issues and not vote for a person because of the letter after their name. Why does it freaking matter what letter is after their name? Does anyone really believe 100% in everything their party stands for? And I mean EVERYTHING, not 99.9%? With the exception of the people who created the party I don't think anyone else can truthfully say that! And even those that created the party probably had to compromise on some of their beliefs.

So that's my crazy idea for the day...I'm sure it won't be my last.

I just don't understand...

I was watching Meet the Press this morning and I just don't understand why politicians, both Republicans and Democrats, can't just give a freaking straight answer! I'm starting to feel like so many issues revolve around the long responses to things. Instead of just a simple yes or no they have to go on for another 3 to 4 minutes explaining why they do feel a certain way without saying they feel that way. For example, Tim Russert asked Patrick Leahy (D-VT) if he felt the Attorney General had lied about the firing of US Attorneys. Leahy responded by saying he felt Gonzales has been less than truthful and yadda yadda yadda... So, if he has been less than truthful then the answer to Russert's questions is YES! YES you do feel that he has lied. Next question please.

Facts get twisted, words are misinterpreted, people read between the lines because politicians can't just answer a freaking question! Short and sweet...they just need to keep their answers short and sweet, why is this so hard? It isn't freaking rocket science!

And on the flip side, Orrin Hatch (R-Utah) said he has no problem with people from the White House testifying behind closed doors with no oath and no transcripts and he doesn't understand why others are not ok with this. Hmm...I wonder if he would have been ok with Clinton testifying this way about the whole Monica issue. Or if he would be ok with a member of the Mob saying "Ya know, I'm just going to go to a private room and talk with my fellow mobsters about the possible crimes I have committed. And, oh by the way, no one else can come nor are we going to write anything down." Right, 'cause that is going to happen. Why can't these people get their heads out of their asses and just do what is right rather than what their party is telling them is right.

I'm almost done!

With my Lamaze stuff that is. After my classes tomorrow morning, I'm heading to the post office to mail in my exam application and all my paperwork then it will be time to study my ass off for the exam. I'm so happy I decided to take on a smaller amount of credit hours this quarter. Between school, studying for my Lamaze exam, organizing the Doula Day conference and my one client this month, I'll be lucky if I can finish my socks I just started knitting. Well, I'll probably finish them because that's what I do in class...knit and listen. I find I hear what is being said so much more when I am doing something with my hands as opposed to just taking notes. I learned about this in my Passion for Birth training. Adults learn better when they have something in their hands. So now when I teach I make sure I bring little slinkies, stress balls and silly putty.

My other big news of the day: my academic adviser is super impressed with my grades and the improvements I have made. She said with my grades and my professional experience Mt. Caramel would be crazy to not accept me for the Accelerated Track program...lets hope they see it the same way!

Off to study for Lamaze...

My husband

I love my husband. I know he would have preferred to play WoW more last night than we did, but when I was done he got off too and watched a movie with me. I love just snuggling on the couch and watching movies together sometimes. What a great way to end a pretty good day. :)

What I think about when I should be studying...

I'm always amazed at the power of words and kind thoughts, especially from strangers! I find it fascinating that I can find myself in a funk and then read a message from someone I've never even met and feel, quite suddenly, on top of the world! If you're reading this, and you know who you are, thank you again.

I'm also surprised that this surprises me...if that makes any sense! I see it all the time in birth. A woman can be laboring very well and then everything stalls out when her mother-in-law enters the room. This is usually an easy thing to fix but can be difficult when it is the doctor or nurse causing issues. I've seen it far too many times. I wish people realized just how important it is to be surrounded by positive energy. If there are people in the birthing room with mom who don't 100% support her and her choices she probably isn't going to have the type of birth she wants. I try to talk with women and their partners about this ahead of time...sometimes they listen to me and usually they don't. Alas, it isn't my birth. I'm only as effective as mom, her partner and their care providers allow me to be. I can't promise a drug-free birth or a vaginal birth. I can't guarantee a VBAC or that mom won't be lied to or misled. In the end, mom has to decide what kind of birth she wants and then she has to surround herself with people who 100% believe in her ability to have that birth...otherwise, it isn't going to happen. Time and time again I hear women saying how they have their doctor figured out and there is no way they will have the wool pulled over their eyes. Guess what happens after they have spent 38 weeks with their doctor? They realize they have had the wool pulled over their eyes for the last 38 weeks and now it is too late to do much of anything. Sure, some women will be willing to switch doctors but who will they switch to at this point? And for those who don't want to switch, what are their choices? What are the options women are left with?

Something has to change and soon...now to figure out how to make the change. Ideas any one?

College is Hard!

And I'm not talking about the exams! I'm referring to the actually going to class...especially on days like today. It is pouring down rain, I was cuddled up with my sleeping girl when it came time to leave, there is a mom's gathering tonight and I really wanted to watch the end of the Ellen show! Then, once I drive here in the rain and through the traffic, I have to drive around looking for a place to park then walk through the puring rain to get to class. This is the part I find to be the most challenging...actually getting up and getting to class. I don't mind the studying or, depending on what it is, the homework. I know I could take more on-line classes, I just don't do well with those as I tend to not be motivated enough.

Oh well, I'm here now, I suppose I should make the most of it.