The birth I was at the other day ended in a transfer to the hospital. When the mom arrived at the hospital, she was treated in a way no person should ever be treated. Her support team was threatened as well. The way she was treated is sickening. Why? Why do the doctors and nurses have to be so nasty to women who choose to birth differently then end up needing the medical support a hospital can offer? Why must a woman preferring a home birth be treated with such lack of human kindness or respect?
I wasn't the doula for this woman. A good friend of mine is her doula and I asked her if I could shadow her...I desperately wanted to see a good birth; a home birth. I needed to be reminded of how a birth is suppose to be. I wanted to see a birth, not a medical event. I felt I needed this to re-energize me in regards to birth. I got to see a 99% pure birth. After several hours of pushing everyone decided it was time to head on in to the hospital. I was sad for the mom and her husband; also for her midwife and doula. And to be totally honest, I felt sad for me as well. Why did this have to happen to this woman? Why did it have to be at the birth I thought I NEEDED to regain my faith in birth? I know there is something for me to learn in this experience. Birth is awesome and powerful and it usually goes very smoothly; but sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes, we are very thankful for medical interventions. Initially this is what I thought I needed to learn from this birth. Now I wonder if there is something more...
I want things to change. I want women to know they have a voice. I want women to know they are not alone. I want women to know they don't need need to suffer. I want women to have more choices. More and more, I don't feel like Midwifery is the way to make these changes, to really help women. Midwives have no power...they are glorified nurses (not in my opinion, but many in the medical field feel this way). Maybe Midwifery isn't my path...what if I need to go down the rocky road of medical school and become an OB? Is that the only way to really make change? To really help women? Do I really want to travel down a much longer road? Do I really want to become a surgeon (yes, I know there are many OBs with very low cesarean birth rates)? So many questions and no answers. How do I make this decision? And when I do, how do I know it is the right decision?
Am I freaking nuts for even considering this???? Someone, say something please.
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Well I am glad you are thinking. I think you are right, in Ohio and many other states, CNM's have no power. Someday maybe, but who really knows. OB is a long rocky road...but if you could ride it and be that one doc that natural birthers could call, midwives could use a back up, a doc who would support natural, complete natural birth, how powerful that would be! What about a CPM? Be that other person families can call to have a homebirth? Open a birth center. I admire your determination, I just couldn't fight the battle of the road you are currently on. This mama and team were put through the ringer. I never want to go through that again. I'm glad you are thinking and whichever path you take, you will shine. What about a GP? Can't you take care of women having babies then too? hmmm..lots of thoughts.
Yes, you are absolutely nuts, but in the most amazing way and I fully support what you are doing and, honestly, could not be more excited (if you could see me now, you would know I am dancing in my office). I beleive in grassroots changes, but I am also a realist and know, at some point, the change has to come from (or atleast connect with) someone "up high". If you can't find that OB or FP that is your consistant and symbiotic doorway to the vision you have, then you need to become that person, fill that void. And you will be great at it, not just because you have such a good grasp of the physical things that happen to woman, but because of your passion and concern for what's happening emotionally to birthing mommas. You will be a perfect balance of both worlds and I think it's just about the coolest freakin thing ever.
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