Reflect on your experiences with addiction. What stereotypes do you have? When you think of addiction do you think of other types such as addiction to sex, food, shopping? How are feminism and addiction related?
Addiction has been part of my life, in one way or another, my entire life. Growing up my mom was addicted to Diet Pepsi and cigarettes. At times, she was known to smoke more than a pack a day. My dad has food addiction issues, more specifically, an addiction to sweet food. I myself was addicted to not eating food and to cutting. I also craved alcohol, though I never drank as a teen. I didn't understand why this was until I met my birth family (I am adopted). My birth mom had also struggled with addiction for part of her life. She, in addition to her mom and most of her brothers & sisters, dealt with sex, drug and alcohol addiction as a teen. The others in her family have been dealing with it for much more of their lives. My birth dad dealt with drug and alcohol addiction for a majority of his adult life. I wasn't ever exposed to my birth mom's issues as we never lived together. I was however, living my birth father when he admitted to me that he was addicted to cocaine and alcohol the day before checking himself into rehab. As an adult, both my husband and I have struggled with addition to video games and I am addicted to my ADHD medication as I cannot forgo a dose of prescribed amphetamine and expect to have a functional day. I also still struggle with cutting. While I have not cut in over 8 years the desire is still there at times, mostly when I'm feeling overwhelmed and have allowed others to get the better of me. I wonder if this will always be a struggle for me. I find myself thinking about cutting without even realizing I am thinking about it until it is too late. I hope one day to be rid of these thoughts for good, until them, I'll continue to push them out of my head as fast as they pushed their way into it. Food and I have a very healthy relationship now and we are good friends.
I am, however, proud to say that my mom is no longer a smoker, though, she does struggle with prescribed pills at times and still loves her Diet Pepsi. These don't bother me because she did successfully quit smoking, something she swore she would never do in a million years. My birth father, after falling off the proverbial wagon a few times, has been clean and sober for almost five years after hitting rock bottom after the birth of my son, his first grandchild, when he realized he wanted to be a good grandfather to him. I no longer have a relationship with my birth mother so I cannot say how she or anyone else in her family is dealing with their addictions. My dad is still addicted to sweets and probably always will be. Both my husband and I have conquered our video game addiction and we even canceled our subscriptions to World of Warcraft, which was not an easy thing to do! We did get a Wii for Christmas but have been pretty healthy in our use of it as well as our children's use of it.
Because of my personal and family history with addiction I really can't say what stereotypes I have regarding this issue. I have learned that addiction to anything comes in all different packages and especially from those whom you least expect it. The same goes for other types of addiction. While the first things that often come to mind are drugs and alcohol, I do recognize other additions. I do forget that things such as eating disorders (be it anorexia or over eating), sex, and shopping are considered addictions as these types aren't often talked about...not that addiction in general is something often talked about.
The biggest link, for me, between feminism and addiction comes from my belief that one feminist ideal is having control and power of my body and my life and not turning these things over to someone or something else. When a person has an addiction they are no longer in control of their body and/or their life. Instead, the addiction has control and power over the person though they may not realize it or may not recognize this to be the case.
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1 comment:
Catie,
Back in the 80's,a concept arose called "codependency", that dealt with the family members, most often spouses or children of individuals dealing with addiction. It's still a strong concept today in counseling, and it has started many people along a successful road to more functional behavior in a world that is filled with dysfunction. Specifically, the concept says that, if you are genetically, or more often, socially related to someone who struggles with addiction, then you yourself will relate to substances or behaviors in a similar manner, because that is what you have learned through living with an addict. It is difficult to deal with emotions in a healthy manner, when your role models have not been able to do so...
But there is an "upside" to codependency. Typically people who struggle with codependency are "hyperresponsible" people because they were often called upon as children to navigate adult situations...i.e., they cared for the rest of the family while the addict experienced or recovered from an addictive episode; or they became "enmeshed" with the addict and his or her behavior in multiple attempts to "help" or "cure" the addict. Women, due much in part to our roles as caregivers in most societies are particularly vulnerable to this behavior.
This sense of compassion, or wanting to "help" the addict and his or her family, while it can be emotionally and socially debilitating on a personal level, can be a blessing on a professional level. Many "codependant" people are drawn to the "helping" professions as adults, becoming pastors, counselors, physicians, nurses, teachers, therapists, and yes, doulas, providing much needed care and compassion to to a world sorely in need of it. Being able to learn to deal with your emotions in a functional manner, and then "harnessing" the good in what is not a good situation makes those of us who struggle with addiction able to make a satisfying, and well-received contribution to the human race. That is certainly something you are doing.
Blessings,
Kim W.
"In all things give thanks (sic)..." I Thessalonians, 5:18
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