Ignorance is Bliss

Whom ever coined this phrase certainly knew what they were talking about. As I struggle to make major decisions about my life and my children's education I find myself sometimes wishing I didn't know as much as I do. Jim gets frustrated when I say this as he feels we are able to make better decisions based on knowing so much. Yes, we do get to make better decisions and we also have to deal with the desire to make the better decision without having the means to do so. Fear is another factor we have to deal with; the fear of changing what we know so well. I'm finding this to be true with so much right now: the nutritional health of my family, treating my ADHD, how to educate my children, and even planing my spring quarter schedule.

Nutrition is extremely important and I believe we do better than the average family. However, my son has, at the very least, a sensitivity to dairy and I suspect Jim, my stepdaughters, and I do as well. His sensitivity isn't life-threatening and I'm fairly certain many parents wouldn't even realize his symptoms are even linked to dairy...thus the issue of being too informed. I have a strong desire to go 100% dairy free yet can't get over my fear of not ever having real cheese pizza again or a bowel of cereal with milk or ice cream. With my son being dairy free, eating out is a major challenge. We don't eat out often and there are nights when nothing has been planed, we have no food in the 'fridge and no one has any motivation to cook anything and even if they did, the kitchen would need to be cleaned first. If I were a more organized mom this wouldn't be an issue and I'm not at all organized. So I know the problem and I know what to do about it yet I can't seem to get over a rather silly fear of not having certain foods to do the right thing.


There are days I wish I didn't know I had ADHD. I hated feeling stupid, lazy and crazy back then but at least that was all I knew. Now, I know I'm smart and sane and motivated and I have to chose what portions of my day I'm going to be those things and what portions I'm going to be crazy, lazy and stupid because the meds aren't working well for me any more. We can't afford the medication that works the best as our insurance company no longer covers it and I'm too scared to try the natural treatments as those take time to work. That and they cost even more money than the medication does. Not that I want to be on medication...I just want to function. I just want to live my life and not survive it.

I've posted enough for tonight. To be continued...